Sorry about the hiatus. I just felt that after the relapse in about it weeks time. I needed to examine some things and to see if I was really even mature enough to do this or go on this journey. I am still reading my celibacy book and it has offered a wealth of knowledge that I know I needed. There are also some exercises in the book that I am going to be posting. The first step is chart celibate times in your life thus far. I have been having sex for 10 years which is another reason I decided I needed a break. I have only truly been celibate once seen I started having sex. Note celibacy is being without sex for 6 months. My longest stint was from 8/01-4/02 and that was about 9 months. Another time was 4/02-12/03. Then again from do not have any other times were I was celibate for 6 months or more. After looking at my list it has been non stops with about 3-5 months of intervals in between primarily because I was in relationships most of the time. Since these past two weeks. I have started school and realized like the book said that I am already getting more stuff done because I have time to do it instead of having sex albeit I was only getting it once a week. I have been on craigslist but I read an article in Psychology today about being successful in your New Year's resolution by splicing your goals into smaller pieces and using if then's. I give the celibacy thing as an example. if he would call and ask me to come over I would do so and sleep with him. Therefore, I had to cut off communication. This has been effective in reaching my goal as I have lasted two weeks YAY! ;-) Therefore I will continue using if thens. We shall see!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
So I started reading the sensual guide to celibacy. I already like the beginning. It just talks about what women go through in regards to sex and the social ramifications of not having sex in society. I could really identify with what the author had to say. The most interesting thing about it and what I identified most with was these relationships that I have gotten in that have led no where. Its like why the hell where we having sex in the first place. Ridiculousness! The way that sex is looked at in society was also very interesting. Because of how society is today you are considered a freak if you aren't having sex with anyone. Really in society not having sex is looked down on which is really unfortunate. It used to be something that was prized and sacred. Now we have shows like teen mom show casing to the whole world teenagers having sex and the consequences. This is my sixth day and I have no worries that I will make it till tomorrow lol. We shall see ;-)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Well I passed this test. So my friend came over on Saturday. OMG we went out then came back to my place to watch a movie. Of course there was some kissing and heavy petting/ gropping and the like. However, I did not have sex with him. Yay me! I was very proud of myself. I guess it is true what they say because I feel like these men are coming out of the woodwork! I got my celibacy book today and I will be attempting to read at least one chapter a day. I will tell you all the wonderfulness of this book. Hopefully this book will give me some guidance on this journey that I am taking. We shall see
Saturday, January 8, 2011
MMk this is my second day for real. Still have not gotten my book either. It is at least supposed to come by the end of this month. I told my friend what I had done and she yelled at me. I admit I needed that. Its Saturday and I am somewhat bored so I went to the gym that I signed up for a month. You know what they say. " Boredom is the devil's playground". I mean really think about it. How many times have you called that dude that you have no interest in because you were bored. Happens all the time. I think that when school starts and with me going to the gym I will be less likely to have a fuck up haha for that is exactly what it is and that is exactly what happens if you get my drift. LOL. After that work out I am just tired. Well the most important thing however is I am no longer bored and that is definitely a good thing. Thats all for me. Hopefully I will make it through the weekend sexless... WE shall see
Friday, January 7, 2011
I love that Trey Songz song. It is my life currently. I wish I never met him and right now we just cant be friends. I had an epic fail. I let it happen though. You know I think I just needed that one last time. Hell I think both of us needed that last time. It felt like a last time because it was so passionate and wonderful. I think since that was my last time it was worth it because it was wonderful and special because it is my last time. So now since its still January I canto be celibate until 1-7-12. Now I know that he is too dangerous and irresistible that I can't even go over his place without something happening between us. I don't regret what I did as I said before. This journey is meant to be a learning experience and I learned I have to stay away from him in private settings ie his place or mine lol. I would be a little disappointed in myself but I am not. I will strive to do better and I think I just need more general information about being celibate. I also came to grips with the fact this man is leaving in May and I need to stop it because its not going anywhere! WISH ME LUCK AS I CONTINUE THIS JOURNEY.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
So another day but not another dollar. So sad I got on craigslist again. Its strange addiction. Maybe I should make that part of my New Year's resolution too. Stay off craigslist. However, I'm still holding on strong. The longest time Ive gone without sex is 9 months but that was when I was 18 and in a long distance relationship and was "new in the game." As of last year I went 4 months without it. However, I think that purposely doing this brings on a different meaning. We shall see. I have also ordered a celibacy book. Hopefully the book will be interesting and not a dry anti sex book. It has been nice thus far. The most interesting thing is going to be dating while celibate. I read an article about a woman in England who had sex with 30 men by the time she was 28. Then one day she woke up and decided what she was doing was pointless. She also said she went on several dates and did not have sex with any of them. We shall see... since I can't seem to stay off craigslist, maybe I can get some dates in the meantime. Neway deuces;-)
Monday, January 3, 2011
This is technically like 3 weeks into this thing. You know its like you have sex with someone then you don't see them and time passes. Like damn. I decided to do this for me hoping to go on a different type of journey in my life. Im 27 have a Master's degree and have found myself settling in nicely to well life. Its strange being comfortable and I feel like I'm too young for this its weird so what do I do that right! I'm going back to school to be a nurse lol. My masters is in clinical psych you think she makes more money than an rn nurse. Unfortunately I don't ehh what are you going to do. I figured why not go back. Neway thats all for me. I decided to do this instead of twitter. I think twitter is weird because I don't think Im popular enough to be followed neway which is prolly true. Neway deuces. oh yeah my most difficult challenge is going to be staying off craigslist to meet men. i know sad but I have met awesome black men if you can believe it. I mean they have all been certified Masters degreed black men. I know strange. I can't even meet that on the street.