Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Hello, Awesomeness has occurred in the past couple of weeks. I know I was freaked out about my A&P course but guess what I totally got an A!
So, while talking to a friend of mine I found out we had both been dating the same guy for the past couple months. We both had the same complaints about him. The difference is I refused to sleep with guy because he refused to call me.She told me he would not call her either and we had similar experiences with him as an individual except I did not have sex with him. She chose a different route. The situation of a man not calling me and me sleeping with him was not foreign to me. A similar situation occurred with me I slept with a guy who would not call me. After about a while we slept together and I was like you should call me more and he obliged my request. However, I did think the situation was fucked up that I had to ask that of him in the first place. Unfortunately, I liked this guy and it ended anyway due to other circumstances. After that experience I promised myself I would never sleep with a man who refuses to call me. I feel like why should I give this man my body and he does not have the decency to call me. Its absolutely ludicrous!  Well because of this situation I figured out why it does not pay to be celibate in this society because there is another woman who is willing to have sex with the dude. Not only that but most of the time the guy will pick the woman who is putting out and leave the other woman to her own devices. I never worried about this because usually I was doing what everyone else was doing anyway lol!
On another note my first guy that took my virginity has come back into my life and I am seeing him. He brought flowers to my job today. We are not having sex until I am ready. I told him it might be sometime next year and he said he was fine with that because he had already had it. I told him whatever works! We shall see!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Blew it

So this has nothing to do with celibacy. I totally bombed my A&P test. It sucked and it was going to suck more because now I am gonna pay for that shit. I am pissed and disappointed ;-( It makes me sick and worse it messes up my plan! Shit! Maybe I am not meant to do this. I tried and thats all I can do. I just needed to vent. This would be a day for some good sex!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Birthday Gold!

YAY me I have made it 6 months the day after my birthday. It has definitely been a challenge especially since I am dating three guys. Oddly enough I am now dating my high school boyfriend too. This has been one of my biggest challenges primarily because I lost by virginity to him and because I am comfortable and familiar with him. Its been like 10 years since we have been together. Yesterday he almost got it in but I hoped up right in the nick of time. I will have to get some extra strategies for this situation especially in the winter when I find myself especially bored and vulnerable. I think that I will just study every time and also go to church perhaps. I will also have to reference my celibacy book in order to deal with this situation. The other guy is also extremely dangerous. However, with him its not as challenging for me to turn him down because I still feel like I need more information about him in general. I find him to be very mysterious but I like that. It doesn't make any sense to me either. I am also about to be out of school for a month and that hasn't happened this whole time I have been celibate and that makes it easier as well. I have anxiety regarding this month off school. You know what they say, boredom is the devil's playground. I hope that I can get through it. I will again be referencing my book and probably start going running and biking more. Just adding these two activites should help. Plus I have to study for my substance abuse test so that should help be remain focused for my celibacy pledge as well! We shall see!