Ha I went to see one of my favorite revolutionary rap groups DEAD PREZ. I loved the whole concert! Excellent group in concert. During the concert stic rapped about now being balanced and how he use to drink too much and had a bad diet. In the song he said he needed to find balance. He said that he was looking for balance. At that moment the light bulb really did go off in my head (AHA moment). I understood that I too was looking for balance. I had figured out that being in pseudo relationships with men to basically qualify the sex I was having with them left me tired and empty. I am still ruminating on finding my balance, though I do feel more balanced being celibate. I really do want a serious relationship and plan on seriously pursuing it when my celibacy is over. I have also start putting these guys on probation. I feel like they give you three months to figure out if a job is right for you why shouldn't I do that were my relationships are concerned. The three months is the first phase where they will be able to come over to my humble abode! We shall see...
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